Mama! Hello. :D Sakit namin sa ulo no? Lagi ka nalang naming pinapahirapan, mula nasa tyan hanggang paglabas at kahit ngayon wala kang ibang naranasan samin kundi pahirap. Ma, dki naman sadya yun eh, siguro yung iba oo pero yung iba hindi, sadyang mapaglaro lang kami. Pero alam mo Ma, sa lahat ng yun di naalis sakin na magsisi tuwing matatapos na ang gabi. Alam mo yung bago ka matulog lahat ng bagay na ginawa mo maghapoon bigla nalang babalik sa ala-ala mo saka lang papasok yung reaization na “sana ganito”, “sana ganun”, ‘ay bat ko ginawa yun?”. As a woman you’ve played a lot for a mother, siguro akala mo di ko pansin lahat ng sakripisyo mo, Ma kita ko yun lahat kaya nag sinusubukan kong wag maging pandagdag sa intindihin at alalahanin mo. Si Ate oo alam ko isang malaking sakit as ulo pero kitang-kita ko kung pano mo siya unawain at arugain kahit na para sakin tinginko dun di na tama kasi kung tutuusin wala ka namang ginawang para sa ikakasama niya pero ikaw pa ‘tong lumalapit at nagso-sorry. Nakakayamot lang. 

Ma, sa lahat ng ginawa mo para samin, THANK YOU. Ma, sa lahat ng nagawa namin sayo, SORRY. Mahal na mahal ka namin, Mama. Lagi kang mag-iingat ha? Wag ka sanang magkasakit. Wag ka ding mag-alala, pag nagkatrabaho na ‘ko I would give back all the favors, pangako yan ma. I love you so muuch, and Happy Mother’s Day! 

david-bui:

The grudges, the worries, the irritations, and the bad memories. Make room for laughter, for comfort food, for contentment, and for a carefree life—not careless. The moment you free yourself from your chains, you take the initiative to live a better life. If you feel the need to fall apart, my advice would be to do it now so that you may have the option of rebuilding yourself, and perhaps begin to perceive your sunrises and sunsets in the warmer, more assuring light it has always been.

(via shunyown)

Cant remember the last time I wrote a note like this. Usually I type in observations and opinions but the moments of expressing my feeling through words rarely come to me. As of now its almost 4 in the afternoon, an hour after waking up from a dream that I couldnt remember what is exactly but hurts, got my ear phones plugged in with random music playing, emotions flowing and my rational being. Where or, better yet, how should I begin? The ideas, the words - they kept on flowing and I cant hold them in my grip, they are all unstable.

Pain, that’s what this all is. I’m in pain - physical, emotional and mental. I lack of sleep at night due to the thoughts that wont let my eyelids close. Loneliness, longing for something rather someone, things taken for granted, chances left ungrabbed, words unconsciously said, selfishness, embittered, jealousy, repeated wishes, crossed fingers, dying hopes - too much of everything negative arises from my heart to brain. I thought this wont occupy me anymore but then I was wrong, I am only temporarily tranquilized, feeling soothed for a while, calm, happy and satisfied. Yet the truth is, all this time the pain is hiding inside me, invisible to the naked eye yet apparent to the heart’s, I was trying to acknowledge it, repress the memory and cover it with optimism - in the end of everything, still, it is effective enough. 

I cant, I dont, I wont - want to go back to that dark phase of my life, 3years is long enough for that, I must move on, I must find a way to, a reason must be said, rationality must go sync to my heart - is there really a thing existing as such? I need to know, I have to find it out, I must. But how?

beben-eleben:

Huwag mong pabayaan ang sarili mo. At hindi pa natatapos ang pag-ikot ng mundo kaya mag-move on ka nang tanga ka!